123: Needles

Sometimes I have the urge to take a huge, thin needle and slowly push it through the parts of my body that would hurt the most: stomach, neck, wrist, soles of my feet, palms of my hands, thigh, calf, any odd part that feels vulnerable. 
This urge makes no sense to me, because I have a crippling fear of needles, to the point where getting a vaccination can make me pass out.