Not coping well with stress at the moment feel on the verge of panic attacks constantly because of the pressure I’m under I find it hard to breathe, I can’t take in a whole breath my chest feels like it cannot expand and I want to push a knife through my chest under each rib so I can breathe again.
I have the urge to ram my head into things. Not just walls, but platforms or TV’s. Also I have the urge to ram something INTO my head, like a hookah pipe or a pencil.
I get a really strong urge to break mirrors on my face or to cut off pieces of my skin. Just the other day I broke down, grabbed scissors and cut off pieces of my skin.. It took everything out of me to stop before it was too bad and ever since it’s been hard to keep myself from doing it some more.
I get the urge to just snap off my fingers. I also sometimes get the urge to cut my hand off. I think its because my fingers and wrist are so skinny it would just be so easy to just break or cut them off.
I constantly have the urge to smash my head against the wall. The urge is so strong that I do it in public places now. I also have constant thoughts of self destruction. I always think I’d rather die than do something. Like I’d rather die than go back to college after winter break.